dkwgdk (dkwgdk) wrote in tmi_chix,
dkwgdk
dkwgdk
tmi_chix

Everybody Poops

So for a while I've been eating my feelings about work.  That's bad, because I work in a place with pastries.  Plus, I am switching psych drugs, which believe it or not can really fuck up your digestion.

Lately I've been looking rather pregnant and none of my pants fit. I spent some time beating myself up about how I needed to eat less and exercise even more (don't ask, it's a problem) but in a fit of inspiration, I decided to try a cup of Smooth Move tea.

The next day I lost five pounds of poop.  I got on the scale and I weighed one thing, then I pooped, and I was LITERALLY FIVE POUNDS LIGHTER.  My stomach looks totally normal again.  I'm a fatty usually, but I now recognize my fat as my fat and not my fat + a 7-month-gestated-fetus.

I don't know what the hell all that stuff was, but I'm really glad it's not in there anymore. (Okay, it was probably a combination of a pastry a day for like three weeks and the gallons of zucchini soup I drink every week because HFS farmshare zucchinis.  You just can't make them all into dildos.)
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 2 comments