You see where this is going, don't you?
Today is day 3, and I am experiencing the terrible depths of carb withdrawal sadness. I have depression anyway, and when I cut my carbs under 50g/day, things get ugly. Under 25g and we're in "crying on the couch because when I reach for a bottle of water my arm fat jiggled a litlte bit" territory. So I post on a forum for folks engaged in this ridiculous sacrifice to the Pantheon of Weight Loss and someone says "Have you tried Natural Calm? It really helps." WELL! I happen to have some right here in the cabinet! So I mix up the fizzy magnesium supplement and, indeed, about an hour later, I'm feeling pretty good. I eat one bite of a fried plantain and I feel fucking fantastic.
Fast forward two hours and I'm at a friend's house hanging out. I begin to sense that pooping is imminent, and I have a premonition that it's going to be serious enough that being in my own house is probably best for all involved. So I drive home, clenching my butt cheeks furiously as the "I need to go soon" transforms into "DEFCON 2! BATTLE STATIONS!" I get into the house and halfway down the hall...when...
I pooped my pants. I am not even kidding you, there is poop everywhere. Fortunately, I live by myself and there is a washing machine just down the hall in my building, so I was able to execute cleanup quickly.
However. Note to self: Cut back on the magnesium the next time you feel sad.